Life of the Mind Part 1: Thinking or Feeling?

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In my ideal world I’d be a perfect balance of head and heart. Apparently, in God’s ideal world that’s not the case. My God-given “lead card” is definitely the mind. How about you? What’s your lead card — mind or emotion? I think the point is that we should seek to be well-rounded people of both intellect and feeling, but …

Marriage Part 10: The Body

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The early Gnostics valued spirit over concrete substance, mind over matter. The material universe — including one’s own body — was evil, they thought, or neutral at best. But NT epistles such as Colossians and 1 John take aim at Gnostic tendencies in church and culture by focusing on the value of Christ’s physical body.* The incarnation of Christ validates …

Marriage Part 9: Uncommon Interests

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Sharon and I don’t have a lot in common. Certainly not decorating, sewing, health food, or much of anything about home and garden. Ditto for board games, crafts. Surely not theology, writing, public speaking or spy novels. And with 100% philosophical certitude I can tell you: not golf. Honestly, it’s been a struggle our entire marriage of 32.5 years. Lack …

Marriage Part 8: Tone of Voice

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A couple I know has been married 40+ years. Recently I spent a few days with them. Three things I noticed: 1. They listen to each other.2. They’re polite to each other.3. They serve each other. #2 above, politeness, is in danger of becoming a dinosaur in our culture, even in marriage. Just look at TV and social media, which …

Marriage Part 7: The Marriage Triangle

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I like diagrams. The Marriage Triangle is a favorite diagram of mine because it’s simple and profound. Here’s how it works: As Sharon and I move “north” on the triangle toward the Lord Jesus, we move closer to each other as a married couple. The opposite is also true. Moving south creates more space between us. A critic may object …

Marriage Part 6: What to do with our Money

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My wife Sharon grew up a saver. I grew up a spender. Inside a spender’s mind a little recording plays over and again: I can afford this, no problem. What’s a dollar or two — or twenty or fifty — in the grand scheme of things? I work hard. I deserve this little “payoff.”Sharon’s counter-voice to this rationale is: “Every dollar …

Marriage Part 5: Choosing to Love

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Gary Chapman’s five “Love Languages” are these: Quality Time Words of Affirmation Physical Touch Receiving Gifts Acts of Service My wife Sharon’s love language is #5, Acts of Service. But it’s not my native language to “speak,” so to speak. I think the Lord has gotten a decades-long chuckle out of this. In what’s known as covenant marriage in the church, my …

Marriage Part 3: Being Right

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Every few weeks I talk on the phone with my friend, Marion Anderson. She’s 91. She’s also wise beyond her considerable years. Me, I’m just wise enough to ask her advice. On marriage, for example. “Don’t sweat the little things,” is one of her favorite adages. From the perspective of husband Johnny gone on to glory several years ago, she …

Marriage Part 2: Unforgiven

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In Christianity, one thinks of oneself undeservedly forgiven by God. This fact changes things drastically in marriage, or at least it should. It should make me, a married man, less self-righteous, quicker to forgive. It should keep Sharon and me current on issues of dispute, resolving them and moving on. Not storing them up as leverage to be applied against …