In my prior post I offered some general notes about Gen Z gleaned from online and InterVarsity sources.
My own “additive” consists of four suggestions for relating to Gen Z. They arise from my many experiences in dorm lounges, classrooms, student unions . . . and too many zoom calls to count.
The four suggestions are:
1. Ask questions. I like to start conversations with Gen Zers with general questions about hobbies, friends, family, and school. And if the Lord opens a door (Colossians 4:3), I can inquire about more personal items such as values and beliefs.
2. Listen carefully. Active listening is a lost art in America. Ask yourself, When was the last time someone hung on every word you uttered?
Recently in a sports bar an acquaintance asked me a question. When I started to speak his eyes drifted above my head to a sporting event on a big screen.
Active listening involves eye contact and attentive body language. And it asks questions or makes comments about what the other person is saying — not about my own similar experiences.
Careful listening on our part will serve as a lovely gift (and pleasant surprise) to young people. Try it.
3. Share personally. Eventually, I need to disclose something about my own life. Again, I like to start on the surface, then go deeper. Such self-revelation will encourage my Gen Z friend(s) to do the same.
Productive conversation is a two-way street, and I like to follow the “40-60 Rule.” I try to limit myself to talking no more than 40% of the time in a conversation, while allowing the other person to speak at least 60% (if possible).
4. Use “I” statements. As we get down to deeper issues of values and beliefs, my own contribution to the conversation is framed in classic “I” statements such as, “I hold to X,” and “My experience is Y,” and “I struggle to accept ABC,” and “I grew up on DEF,” etc.
This is different and less judgmental than making definitive statements about what’s true for everybody (which crosses a line with Gen Z). Yes, there’s a time for such assertions of truth — most likely down the road when the Lord opens a door.
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In summary, I believe we need to engage in conversation and friendship with young people that is marked by care, respect, curiosity, and humility, including our willingness to learn from them.
Then when we wish to share something from Scripture or challenge an idea, it won’t come across as from “on high.” It will simply reside in the give-and-take of a mutual relationship and thus more likely to be heard.
In Part 3 I’ll talk about presenting ideas from Scripture to Gen Z. This may look different than you think..
Photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash
